What’s the point of being the underdog, anyway? For the most part, the public will ignore you and the followers will only follow because they want to feel like they’re doing something special. The real science behind an effective underdog tells us that the team has to lose. If a team is underestimated and they go on a winning streak, then they become the “favorite underdog”. But then, if they do happen to get into the playoffs, against all odds, they have two choices: The can lose or risk losing their identity forever. Just look at the Packers. One year ago, nobody expected them to win it all, but now that they did and continue to be dominant, they have been deemed overrated.
Every team that was officially considered to be the underdog this week took the first option and lost [with exception to the Steelers, who were seeded lower than the Broncos but still considered the favorite]. But on the bright side, at least the Lions, Falcons and Bengals can retain their underdog status into next season. Since the Wild Card round began its current structure in 1990, there has been only 2 home team sweeps. This was in 2000 and 2006, both of which leaded up to terrible Super Bowls. I’m trying not to put words in my own mouth, but if this year’s Super Bowl ends up being the Giants and Broncos, well, I’ll have no choice but to say “I told you so”…
Houston Texans 31, Cincinnati Bengals 10
It was all a matter of whether or not the Texans felt like winning the game. For the last few weeks, the quarterback conundrum has caused the Texans to play like a depressed 19 year old. Just by watching the way that they were going through the motions, one could easily tell that they were unmotivated. Something finally snapped in their brains and they played on Saturday as if it actually meant something [which it did]. This was wholly because of the effort of Arian Foster and their defense. Although he did not play terribly well, TJ Yates was effective enough and was turnover-less. Since it is TJ Yates, this is actually kind of a big deal. They’re playing just as good as any Super Bowl bound team with a 3rd stringer can. Arian Foster definitely picked up a load of slack, averaging 6.3 yards per carry and finding the end zone twice.
Also, much credit should go to the fact that JJ Watt is a fuggin beast:
I have never seen a lineman pull off a pick-six so beautifully. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he was an awful TE for Central Michigan, but to be a lineman in the NFL with TE experience is a wonderful thing. That’s like a kicker that played QB in college. They’re not useful all the time, but when the business needs to be given, they will do just that. I marked out for Mr. Watt after that play. In fact, on the Bengals next drive, I guaranteed out loud that he was going to get a sack. And he did. Because a beast on the top of his game cannot be stopped. And as long as TJ Yates doesn’t have a bad day, neither can the Texans. Next week will be a total limpfest between Yates and Flacco, who is the king of playing limpy. Get ready for the mugh…
New Orleans Saints 45, Detroit Lions 28
It's pretty sad when the Lions D makes Pierre Thomas look like a good RB.
For the first time in over 2 years, I was privileged enough to actually watch a Lions game in Michigan. From what I can remember, nothing about the experience has changed. It was optimism matched by disappointment. Everyone knows that they really did have a good run, with their first Playoff appearance since 1999. But deep in our hearts, we all knew that they were playing against the better team. If they were to pull off the upset, it would prove nothing but the fact that these things can happen on any given Sunday [err...Saturday]. I’ve been raving for a long time that the Saints are, pound for pound, the best team in the league. They proved that on Saturday night, as Drew Brees played like Drew Brees and the solidest O-Line in the game stayed put.
The game really wasn’t that one-sided. The Lions were actually in full control in the first half. The Stafford-Megatron connection was in full force. On the day, Calvin Johnson caught 211 of the 380 yards of passing, which is probably close to being some sort of playoff record [if only I had the time to find it]. Going into halftime, they had a 14-10 lead and a whole lot of momentum. But of course, that eventually unraveled as Brees became hot and then refused to let up. This is why the Saints are the most dangerous team in the NFL: Every time you punt the ball, the gap will be increased by 7 points. Repeat this a few times and you have an ugly loss on your hands. This is exactly what happened to the Lions. They had several opportunities that were wasted. There were 2 early turnovers that led to no points. Whenever Drew Brees threw an off-pass, the defenders failed to pick it off. There were several that went straight to them, only to be allowed to fall. Pierre Thomas looked like Thurman Thomas, which is blasphemy.
If only they could have made a few real stops, things would be different. But as the bar became increasingly bitter by the end of the game, we all waxed over in our minds abut what could have been. When Titus Young’s TD catch was declined last week, the Lions were sent into an alternate reality. If the catch would have been considered good [which it totally was], they wouldn’t have played the Saints. Instead, they would have been travelling to New Jersey, to play against a wholly manageable Giants team. Then they would go to San Francisco for another easy win. Of course, after that would be New Orleans [or god forbid, Green Bay] and the same thing would happen all over again, or at least we can assume. It could have all been different, but the fact that I feel this way only proves that the Lions didn’t deserve to win. Claiming that the Lions got hosed for having to play a superior team is doing nothing but admitting that they just aren’t good enough. I suppose that’s why they invented this new thing called “Next Season”…
New Jersey Giants 24, Atlanta Falcons 2
Wow, this happened? That’s…odd. Matty Light and the Falcons offense showed no signs of wear all season long. Suddenly, they get completely shut out by a tenacious Jersey defense. There’s not really much else to say. The Giants are a much better team that even they thought they were. The Giants defense has become one of the more recognizable in the league. With the likes of Jason Pierre-Paul, Michael Boley, Atrell Rolle and a bunch of other guys that I can’t pronounce the names of, the Giants D is stronger than what we’ve seen in years. To be able to shut the lights down for Michael Turner, Matt Ryan, Julio Jones and Tony Gonzalez is one hell of a feat. And when HumanManning is having a good day, Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz become unstoppable. You could almost say that I kind of…respect this team. This is hard to admit, considering all of the hate that I’ve been spewing out the last season or two. I guess it’s almost impossible to like a team when you hate their blind fanbase. It’s like rooting for the North Korean soccer team or the Lakers. It’s a little pointless to include yourself in a group that you don’t want to be a part of. Soon, I’ll start pronouncing water to be “war-ter”.
Don't worry, Mike. There's always a place for you hosting The Price Is Right...
Also, Mike Smith needs to be fired. I realize that he was the one that turned the sullen franchise around, but when it comes to making the big decisions, he just about chokes every time. Take the end of the first half, for example. They had 80 yards to march with 1:08 to go and a full stash of timeouts. What do they do? They burn the clock down, while still driving down the field. Matt threw short passes away from the sidelines and also didn’t try going to the sidelines when he scrambled. They showed absolutely no urgency and didn’t even call their first timeout until there was 4 seconds left. At that point, Matt had to throw a hail mary that was of course unsuccessful. If Mike Smith would’ve managed the clock better by using the timeouts and calling more urgent plays, they could’ve easily sneaked in another 30 yards to get into field goal range. Hell, they could’ve even scored a touchdown. Instead, they squandered away a solid opportunity and set the tone for one of the lamest meltdowns in Wild Card history. After this, and all of the logical errors he made throughout the season, it’s crystal clear that Mike Smith is too much of a bummer to keep around. If only Romeo Crennel could replicate himself and coach multiple teams…
Denver Broncos 29, Pittsburgh Steelers 23 [OT]
We have no choice but to belee that this all happened. Tebow’s men protected thyne Chosen One and that strange magic worked again. His receivers were reliable and always wiling to get yards after the catch. His defense made life easier for the Chosen One, as they pummeled the sinning rapist within inches of his life. The state of Pennsylvania has been very wicked over the past few years and this was their divine punishment. What better venue for something like this to happen than in the stadium that is closest to the heavens? But of course, the battered rapist would not give up and the game was sent into overtime. This time around, we finally got to see the new overtime rules in action. The new rules state the following:
Following a three-minute intermission after the end of the regulation game, play will be continued in 15-minute periods until a winner is declared. Each team must possess or have the opportunity to possess the ball unless the team that has the ball first scores a touchdown on its initial possession.
What this basically means is that if the receiving team takes the easy way out and kicks a quick field goal, this game still isn’t over. The team that drives first would have to score a touchdown to effectively end the game. And all it took was one play.
For a brief moment of time, millions of people across the world believed that anything was possible. A second-rate QB with a lucky streak can humiliate the best defense in the league. Although this win was a group effort, that play finally made me a belee-er. Everybody learned to get along and love one another. People looted stores, while the owners couldn’t help but smile and let it happen. Everybody got laid. There was dancing in the streets. There was dancing in the alleyways. There was dancing in Billy’s Lounge, oh Lord, there was dancing at Billy’s Lounge. Partners in grime, The Coze and The Nast, reunited again, doing back-to-backs and owning that floor. I swear to you, it was marvelous. And every opportunity I got, I put one knee to the ground and did the Tebow. Not because I’m an annoying asshole, but because I felt the need to pay homage to the man that made everything possible. Praise Tebow, hallelujah! I’m a belee-er!
Join me next week, when I denounce my new beliefs and all my faith in mankind when the Ravens and Giants advance to the championship round. It’s going to be ugly. About as ugly as Marty Schottenheimer potentially coaching the Bucs. Hideous.
-TeeCoZee
